One Big step...

I was talking to one my closest friends, Bethany, on the phone last night:

Bethany: "Anyways, Is acting what you want to do with your life?"

Me: "Totally! I know it's my calling!"

Bethany: "That's awesome! So, where you gonna go?"

Me:"go where?"

Bethany: "To college? Have you thought about where you want to go?"

I cringed and said "I don't know." and changed the subject.

ugg.

I'm running from it. I'm running from the fact that I have to put on my big girl pants and go out in the world. It's a little uncomfortable for me to talk about where I want to go because I want to scream, "IM NOT READY FOR THIS!" But the truth punched me in the face last night when Bethany and I were unsuccessfully talking about the future. The future. It's scary to most of us because it's the unknown. And like most humans I like to know things.

Going to school and leaving everyone behind and moving forward can sometimes be a difficult thing to grasp and take hold of. Don't get me wrong, there are those days where I say, "HECK YES! WOO!" but then when you think about all the planning, responsibilities, and choices that you have to make on your own, it is well...kind of terrifying.

The problem is, I don't know what I want. I'm still young and I'm not ready to grow up! Yes. acting, is what I want. That's the one thing I know but, everything else is up in the air. I.have.no.earthly.clue. I will never figure that out though, if I don't search, try, and listen. Going to visit collages would be the first big step for me, but still it's something I put in the back of my head or dismiss it.

But, this is life and we all cant be Peter Pan and never grow up. We all have to if we want to do the best in life. It's time I actually think about this and pray about it.

Big Sigh.

One step for me, one big step for the future.